Leading by Example

It Starts with You - Being a boss is a lot like being the captain of a ship. You’re steering your team through calm waters and rough seas alike. If you start slacking, they’ll follow suit. If you’re honest, they’ll take the same route. Your behavior sets the tone. Think of your actions as the silent soundtrack to your leadership—it plays in the background, but everyone hears it. It’s more than just what you say; it’s what you do.

Every boss is a mirror of their team's behavior.

You might have heard the old saying: "Do as I say, not as I do." Unfortunately, that doesn’t fly when you're a boss. If anything, people will mimic your actions more than your words. This is why leading by example is such a big deal. Let’s dive into the first steps of being a great leader: showing, not just telling, and making sure your actions set the right example for your team.

Lesson 1: Be What You Expect

The quickest way to lose respect as a boss? Expecting your team to do what you won’t. If you want hard work, show it. If you want honesty, be open. Your actions set the standard. This is the first thing to get right before you start trying to change others.

Imagine this: You walk into the office late every day, coffee in hand, and plop down at your desk like you own the place. You’ve got emails piling up, deadlines slipping by, and projects stalling—but you don’t seem to care. Your team notices. They see you cutting corners, skimping on work, and guess what? They start doing the same. You can’t blame them either, because they’re just following the example you set.

On the flip side, when you come in early, prepared, and focused, your team takes note. They see you putting in the effort, and it becomes much easier for them to follow suit. It’s like leading a dance—if you’re stumbling, everyone’s out of rhythm. But if you’re on beat, they fall in line, too.

Take hard work for example. If you expect your team to work late or push through tough deadlines, you need to be doing the same. This doesn’t mean you need to be a martyr, working yourself into the ground. But it does mean that you should never ask your team to do something you wouldn’t do yourself. When you show up and put in the effort, you earn their respect. And once you have that respect, they’ll go the extra mile, not because they have to, but because they want to. You lead, they follow—it’s as simple as that.

The same principle applies to honesty. If you want a culture of transparency and open communication, you need to be the first one to step up. Let’s say a project didn’t hit the mark. Instead of brushing it under the rug or pointing fingers, take responsibility where it’s due. Say, “Hey, I messed up. Here’s what we’re going to do to fix it.” That openness sets the stage for your team to feel comfortable doing the same. They’ll know it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as they own them and work to improve.

As the boss, you’re the baseline. If you’re calm, they’ll be calm. If you’re panicking, they’ll panic. Your energy is contagious, so be the type of leader you’d want to follow.

Lesson 2: No Special Treatment

Let’s be real—nobody likes double standards. Ever had a boss who waltzed in late every day but would shoot you a glare if you came in five minutes past nine? Frustrating, right? It’s like living with a roommate who never washes the dishes but loses it if you leave a cup in the sink. Being the boss doesn’t mean you’re exempt from the rules. In fact, it means you should follow them even more closely.

People notice everything. If you’re constantly bending the rules for yourself, your team will start bending them too—only it won’t stop there. They’ll begin to question everything: your fairness, your leadership, and even your decisions. It breeds resentment. You’re not just their boss anymore; you’ve become “that person who thinks the rules don’t apply to them.”

Consistency is key. If you want your team to follow certain standards, you’ve got to follow them too. This isn’t about being a stickler for rules just for the sake of it. It’s about fairness and accountability. When you hold yourself to the same standard, your team feels like you’re in the trenches with them, not just barking orders from a distance.

Accountability doesn’t have to be scary either. It’s as simple as being on time for meetings, completing tasks you commit to, or even cleaning up after yourself in common spaces. Small actions can have a huge impact on how your team perceives you. When they see that you’re not asking for any special treatment, it creates a sense of equality, and that feeling of being “in this together” strengthens the team dynamic.

There’s an old story about a CEO who worked in a company with no assigned parking spots. One day, a new employee unknowingly parked in the CEO’s regular spot. Instead of making a fuss, the CEO simply parked somewhere else and went about his day. When the employee found out, they were shocked, but also impressed. That simple act set the tone for how the CEO led—without entitlement.

This is how you avoid the slippery slope of “do as I say, not as I do.” No one likes working for someone who plays by a different set of rules. You’ll earn far more respect by showing that the same rules apply to everyone—especially you.

Lesson 3: Building Trust with Your Team

Trust is the foundation of any good team. It’s not built overnight. Being consistent, fair, and reliable can make or break your leadership. Once trust is broken, it’s incredibly hard to regain.

Think of trust like a bank account. Every time you do something to build trust—like following through on promises or being transparent with your team—you’re making a deposit. Over time, those deposits add up, and your trust account grows. But if you break that trust, whether through dishonesty, inconsistency, or favoritism, it’s like making a huge withdrawal. And if you withdraw too much, you’re left with nothing in the bank.

Building trust starts with communication. Keep your team in the loop. Don’t leave them guessing about what’s going on, especially when it comes to important decisions. People fear the unknown, and silence can breed all kinds of assumptions—none of them good. If there’s a change in the company, or if you’re facing challenges, share what you can. Your team will appreciate your transparency, and it’ll help avoid unnecessary anxiety.

Consistency is another huge factor in trust. It’s not enough to be transparent once. You need to be steady, predictable in the best way. Your team should know that they can count on you, whether it’s in the small things like showing up on time or the big things like making tough decisions.

Being reliable doesn’t mean you never make mistakes (we’ll cover that next). It means owning up to them when you do and working to fix them. Your team isn’t looking for a perfect leader. They’re looking for one they can count on.

Lastly, fairness plays a huge role in trust. If your team feels like you’re playing favorites or being unfair in your decisions, that trust account starts dwindling. Be transparent about why you’re making certain choices, and make sure you’re considering the impact on everyone, not just a select few.

Lesson 4: Admitting Mistakes

No one is perfect. As much as we’d love to never mess up, mistakes are part of the game. But here’s the thing: people don’t lose respect for you because you made a mistake—they lose respect when you pretend it didn’t happen or try to shift the blame.

Admitting when you’re wrong is one of the most powerful things you can do as a leader. It shows vulnerability, yes, but it also shows strength. It tells your team that you’re not hiding behind your title, that you’re human just like them. And when they see that, they’re more likely to admit their own mistakes, too. It creates a culture where people aren’t afraid to fail because they know it’s okay—as long as they learn and move forward.

Let’s say you made a call on a project that didn’t pan out. Instead of glossing over it or making excuses, address it head-on. Call a meeting, explain what went wrong, and take responsibility. Then, outline the steps you’ll take to fix it and how you plan to avoid the same issue in the future. By doing this, you not only maintain the respect of your team, but you also model the kind of behavior you want to see in them.

If you never admit your mistakes, you set the expectation that mistakes are unacceptable. And that’s a recipe for disaster because your team will start hiding their own errors, leading to bigger problems down the line.

At the end of the day, no one expects you to be flawless. But they do expect you to be honest. Owning up to your mistakes builds trust, and it shows your team that you’re in this together.

Lesson 5: Use Humor to Break Tension

Being a boss can be stressful, and stress can trickle down to your team. Tensions can build, especially during tight deadlines or challenging projects. One of the easiest ways to break that tension? Humor. Now, we’re not talking about cracking jokes all day and ignoring the work at hand. But lightening the mood with a well-timed comment or story can go a long way in keeping spirits high.

Humor makes you more approachable. It shows your team that you don’t take yourself too seriously, and it creates an environment where people feel comfortable. A good laugh can release tension and bring everyone back to center, ready to tackle the next challenge with fresh energy.

But—and this is important—humor should never come at someone else’s expense. There’s a fine line between making a joke and turning someone into the punchline. If your humor starts to alienate or belittle your team, it’s going to do more harm than good. Keep it light, inclusive, and respectful.

Think of humor like salt—you don’t need a ton to make a difference. Just a sprinkle here and there can shift the mood from tense to productive. And when your team sees that you can laugh in the face of stress, they’ll feel more comfortable doing the same.

Rhetorical Question Example:

How can you expect your team to be honest if you’re the first one to hide your mistakes?

This simple question cuts through any complicated explanation. It’s a reminder that honesty, like any good habit, starts at the top. If you want your team to be transparent, you have to lead by example. Asking questions like this forces you to take a hard look at your behavior and how it influences others.

Let’s sum it up.

Key Takeaways from Leading by Example

1. Be What You Expect – If you want your team to act a certain way, be the first to model that behavior. Hard work, honesty, and responsibility all start with you.

2. No Special Treatment – Hold yourself to the same standard as your team. If you want them to follow the rules, you need to live by them, too.

3. Build Trust – Trust is earned through consistency, fairness, and reliability. Keep your word and be transparent in your actions.

4. Admit Mistakes – Don’t be afraid to own up when you’re wrong. Admitting mistakes builds respect and encourages a culture of openness.

5. Use Humor – A little light-heartedness goes a long way. It eases tension and makes you more approachable, but make sure the jokes never hurt or alienate anyone.

Final Thoughts

Being a good boss isn’t about having all the answers or being perfect. It’s about setting a standard through your actions and making sure your team feels supported, trusted, and heard. When you lead by example, you create a work environment where people feel motivated to follow you because they believe in what you stand for.

Your team is a reflection of you. If you act with integrity, they will too. If you take responsibility, so will they. Being a boss isn’t just about managing tasks—it’s about inspiring the people around you to be their best selves. And the best way to do that? Start by being the best version of yourself. When you show them what’s possible, they’ll rise to the challenge.

Remember, it all starts with you.